“Yes, And…”: Creating Connection Through Improv

This article originally appeared in the Fall 2019 issue of Healing Matters. 

It’s a Monday night at Calo, a residential treatment center that specializes in treating teens and preteens for the effects of developmental trauma/early childhood trauma. The students here struggle with forming healthy relationships and may exhibit high anxiety, oppositional behavior and hyper-arousal.

But not tonight. Joyful and supportive laughter fills the room, hour after hour. The students are joyfully engaged in something they have struggled with all their lives: supporting, accepting and attuning to their peers and staff. They are practicing improv.

Improv?

Yes, we are talking about improv, specifically short-form comedic improv. These short, 30-second to three-minute-long games are being applied to both the Teen and Pre-Teen programs at Calo with awesome results. Improv is best known by the general public for its comedic value and recognized from stage performances and television shows like Whose Line is it Anyway? But due to its ability to rapidly develop numerous skills and the many other benefits it offers, improv is being applied today in business, education and clinical practices, as well as for personal growth.

It may seem odd that a comedic art form is being integrated into therapeutic practices, but when you understand the process of improv, it makes sense. Before we get to that, let me take a moment to address some common misunderstandings about improv.

What Improv Is Not

• Improv is not stand-up comedy, and it’s not about being funny. It is not made up of jokes or witty comments. Funny may be a result, but it is never the process.
• Improv is not In theater, drama is creating by people fighting for different objectives, thus creating drama. In improv, there is no fighting, blocking, dismissing or eye rolling, only acceptance. Improv is about agreement.
• Improv is not about performing, acting or being extroverted. While some games require acting skills, many do not and are quite simple and comfortable to play. Because all improv games are framed by the rule of “yes, and…,” they all develop skills rapidly and simultaneously.

Understanding Improv

The day after having experienced improv with her students and their families, a therapist ran up to me. She told me how she had gone home the night before and watched an old episode of Whose Line Is It, Anyway? With complete excitement, she exclaimed, “It was brilliant. Wait, I always thought it was brilliant, but now I know what they are doing. They are saying ‘Yes, and….’”

 While people enjoy the spontaneous comedic performances of improv, what people do not see is the process that creates that often hilarious outcome. It is that process of improv that makes it an exciting and effective experiential tool for helping those who suffer from early childhood trauma. If more people understood the power of these two words, improv could be transforming so many more lives.

The Power of “Yes, and…”

“I fight with everyone, but not here (at improv).”  -Teen boy

“I hate everyone, but I like this.”  -Teen girl

Improv’s foundational rule of “Yes, and…” serves as a frame for each social interaction within a game. “Yes, and…” works like this: When a player gives an offer, whether it be verbal, physical or emotional, the other player(s) accepts it and adds to it. “Yes, and….”  “Yes, I unconditionally and without judgement accept your offer. And, I value it so much I will add my own offer to it.” So, with each interaction, each player is repeatedly practicing essential skills for building healthy relationships. It might sound like this:

Game example from Yes, And–Shared Memory

Audience:  A deserted island

Player A: Remember that time on the deserted island.

Player B: Yes, and all we had were coconuts to eat. 

Player A: Yes, and we found that huge rock to break them.

Player B: Yes, and we used the leaves to make a hut.

Player A: Yes, and then the volcano blew up

This frame of “Yes, and…” may seem simple, and it is, but look what is being practiced. In order to “Yes, and,” a person must be present, mindful, aware. She must be self-regulated enough to listen and to be attuned to the other player(s) so she may fully understand their offer. She cannot pre-plan what she is going to say. She cannot be oppositional. She must, in that moment, accept whatever offer is given without judgement, comment or question. She then adds her own offer, building off the preceding one. With every interaction, in every moment, each player is practicing all of those skills.

Please note that the point of “Yes, and…” is not to teach one to say yes to everything. It is, instead, an exercise that teaches one to take a moment and seek to understand, to explore. This practice of “Yes, and…” can be transformative.

Improv’s Impact on Attachment

During every moment of any 30-second to three-minute-long improv game, students practice being attuned to, accepting, and validating each other. A sense of trust grows between them. A sense of trust grows within them as their offers are repeatedly validated. They begin to trust that when they speak, they will be heard, and that what they say has value. They have value.

This trust and validation create a safe and secure environment and a sense of belonging. Each improv game is a collaborative effort, not just between the players, but between the audience and players, as well. This means that not everyone needs to play with everyone all the time for these benefits and connections to grow.

There is laughter, but it is a shared and supportive laughter. It is not at anyone’s expense. And wouldn’t that feel wonderful, for family members to share laughter and connect in a joyful and supportive way?

How to Play Short-Form Improv

Every day we improvise, meaning we make fast and rapid decisions based on our experience and knowledge. Playing short-form improv games is much the same, but with the explicit practice of “Yes, and….”

To play, you start by choosing a simple game like Yes, And–Plan, where two or more people collaboratively plan a party. It might sound like this:

The person leading the game asks anyone not playing (the audience) for a type of party. If everyone is playing, he asks the players.

Audience Offer: A birthday party for a dog.

Player A: Let’s plan a birthday party for a dog.

Player B: Yes, and we can invite other dogs.

Player C: Yes, and we can have cake in the shape of a dog biscuit.

Player A: Yes, and we can have a pinata.

Player C: Yes, and it can be in the shape of a cat.

Player B: Yes, and it can be filled with balls and chew toys. 

Facilitator: Thank you! Give yourselves a hand. (Players applaud audience. Audience applauds players.)

Improv games require no props. Many require a small stage area, but many can also be practiced anywhere, around a table, in the car, or on a walk.

More Information

Depending on how improv is taught, it can be learned quickly, easily, and without fear. The benefits start to develop immediately. If you would like to learn more about supporting research and/or the approach used at Calo, visit oneruleimprov.com.

Mary DeMichele is a coach, consultant, author, and improviser with over 25 years of experience in educational, clinical and professional settings. She is the author of One Rule Improv: The Fast, Easy, No Fear Approach to Teaching, Learning and Applying Improv (oneruleimprov.com) and Improv ’n Ink: Overcoming “I Don’t Know What to Write! Mary holds a master’s degree from the Maxwell School of Syracuse University.